Life

Health, Life

10/18/2020 Update: Here’s another update since people are still landing on this post. 9 years later, my cyst is still in the same place on my uvula. It’s the same size and hardness. I never had surgery to remove it, and I hardly think about it anymore. 🙂

3/6/2014 Update: When I wrote this post back in 2011 I had NO IDEA so many other people would be searching for this same problem. I just wanted to give you guys an update- It’s almost three years later, and my cyst is the same size (quarter inch), and still hangs annoyingly in the back of my mouth, about a half inch to the right of my uvula. I poke at it with my tongue when I’m bored in meetings, and it can move around a little bit. Anyways, all this is to say, it’s still there, same size, and it’s still not cancer. Probably just a blocked salivary duct. If you’re really worried about a lump in the back of your throat, please please please go to an Ear Nose Throat doctor! Your health and peace of mind is worth it! 

I know that I mentioned my minor health complications (and corresponding mini depression) to close friends a few weeks back, but now that it’s over, I thought I would share the whole neurotic story with the internet. Who knows, maybe somebody in the same situation will find it and be less freaked out by reading a similar story.

Sooooo…

About a month and a half ago I noticed a small lump in the back of my throat, quite close to my uvula (I almost typed in “hangy thing that hangs in the back of your throat”  🙂 ). Well of course I instantly thought THROAT CANCER! and started poking at it with my finger. Then I remembered that I’m a hypochondriac and I let it go. Gotta keep the crazy at bay.

A few days later my monthly copy of Cosmopolitan came in (it was a present, don’t judge), and guess what was this month’s freaky health story? It was oral cancer! According to Cosmo, women in my age range are making up almost 25% of new oral cancer diagnoses, and it’s credited to rise in STD infections in the mouth (oral sex, duh). Nevermind that the annual # of new oral cancer diagnoses is about 1,200, and I had a VERY low chance of being one of those 300 women… I felt anxious.

I then proceeded to fall into a downward spiral of thought pattern that fellow hypochondriacs will understand all too well. I became slightly obsessed. In my spare time I conducted Google image searches, stared deeply into a mirror with my mouth wide open, read random health message boards and showed disinterested friends my throat… Oh it was bad.

Anyways. Weeks passed, and a wave of flu-like sickness passed through my house. My throat lump got bigger. I had a bright red sore throat and developed canker sore like ulcerations in the back of my throat. It was gross. I finally went to the doctor.

My GP addressed my flu symptoms and told me to come back if my throat lump was still there after my flu passed. The flu passed, and yet the lump was still there. I went back to the doctor, finally scoring a referral to an Ear/Nose/Throat guy. After checking my ENT’s credentials on Yelp I was a bit nervous, because his headshot was so unflattering. Does that sound bad? He just didn’t look very nurturing, more like Frankenstein.

It turned out that “Dr. E.” was actually a very kind specialist, who put me quite at ease (he was rather touchy, but that’s a whole ‘nother story).  He really didn’t do too much- he just took a look, sprayed some numbing spray on the back of my throat, and tried to pop my bump open with a syringe… Only  a little painful!

His verdict:  “It’s not cancer. If it was cancer it would be eating through your throat right now. It would look like  a herpes sore in the back of your mouth.”

AAAAAAAAAAA! Quite a visual! So, no oral cancer. But I do have a benign “lump thing”  in the back of my throat! It could be a blocked salivary gland, it could be virus related… he wasn’t really sure. Basically I’m just supposed to live with it. If it gets bigger I will go back for “minor” surgery to have it cut out. That is an unpleasant thought, but whatever.

Anyways, I’m fine now, but out $$$ from all the doctor visits. I suppose it was worth it just to learn this fun factoid: My tonsils are 3x larger than the average human tonsil. I am a freak. My ENT suggests that I get them cut out as well, since my “future husband will probably be bothered by my snoring….” ????!!!

Life, San Francisco

Astor Goes Clubbing

 

At Madrone Art Bar on Divisadero. Dropped by here to grab a couple drinks, and day turned to night, the bar turned into a dance club… and so… and so we became the freaky people who dance with their dog at the bar. Yup.

Life, San Francisco

So You Need a Place to Live? How to Respond to a Craigslist Ad for Housing Without Sounding Like a Psycho

It’s happened again. Time to search for another housemate. I always get really excited and anxious when this happens because I LOVE CHANGE. I love the drama and the feeling of possibility. I would change my wardrobe, job, family, house, everything over and over again if only there weren’t so many damn hurt feelings and uh… if it didn’t cost so much. Changing roommates is a way of shaking things up that doesn’t totally upend my life.

I’ve been on both sides of filling a vacant room in San Francisco, and either way it’s a competitive jungle.When I was searching for places during my first year or two in SF I had to send out scores of emails, ran all over town every day to interview, and oftentimes my interview turned out to be an open house where I was trying to stand out amongst 15+ people. It ain’t pretty, and while having a room to fill is less stressful, it’s still a lot of work. In our first 24 hours of posting our available room we’ve received 50+ responses. That’s a lot of people to sift through.

I think that over the last four years (5 apartments, 15+ roommates) I’ve gained a sense of what will or won’t work as far as putting up ads and answering ads. Here’s a few tips for the apartment SEEKERS.

When answering an ad for housing...

DO:

  • Be honest about what you’re looking for in a home. Do you want a party house? Do you want a calm place? Do you want a cooperative sharing household? It’s best to get that aligned in the beginning.
  • Say that you are gainfully employed and have not had a problem paying rent on time (if this is true). If you are unemployed… most people will want you to be employed, but I feel like if you can pay rent, and have a backup income source (even if it’s mom and dad) that’s okay. Everything is ok as long as the money is coming from somewhere.
  • Talk about yourself- what you do, what you’re into. Emails that are sent to us without any personal information at all are automatically deleted.
  • It seems like everybody in San Francisco is “new to the city and interested in discovering its secrets” and  “into hiking, yoga and wine/food”. Geez these responses are worse than OKCupid profiles! Try to include something you feel is really unique about yourself (a “hook”). Do you draw comics? Do you do improv downtown? Do you own a bunny rabbit?
  • Er… if you DO own a bunny rabbit, it might be best to include a video, link to the pet’s Facebook page, or some sort of “digital resume” so that we can see how cute and well-behaved the critter is. Houses will still have a serious bias against you and your litter-box trained rabbit, but who knows? They might be charmed.
  • State your flexibility as far as move in dates. The house might be flexible as well.
  • Include a link to the original apartment posting within the email you send so that when you receive a response you can remember which apartment you are talking about.

DON’T

  • Include a link to your art. People will judge you for your nude maternity photography and Biggie Smalls paintings on sneakers.
  • Ask if you can let people couchsurf in our place. We don’t know you yet! No!
  • Mention your age. Let people meet you first before they decide that you’re “too young” or “too old.”
  • Include a link to your Facebook. I’m kind of on the fence about this one, but my general policy is that you’re just trying to get your foot in the door for an interview, so the less information the better. People may decide not to write back to you just based on your musical tastes or profile photo. It’s not nice, but it happens.
  • Talk about what drugs you are or are not into. Just don’t go there.
  • Quote Bible verses. What does this have to do with finding a house?
  • Ask for pictures of the room. If there were no pictures in the Craigslist ad, there are probably no pictures of the room.
  • Ask how close the apartment is to an identifiable landmark (BART, downtown, etc). You can probably figure it out via Google Maps, or ask when you see the place.
  • Obviously show that you haven’t read the ad by asking questions that are answered in the ad.

I could think of a ton more, but these are the things that irked me most in this round of house interviews. Add your own pointers in the comments if you have any extra tips.

Life, San Francisco

Astor’s First Critical Mass

Critical Mass is a gigantic group bicycle ride that happens once a month, in 300+ cities worldwide. I’d seen the Mass in New Haven, but it’s nothing compared to San Francisco. It figures-this is where it was founded in 1992- going on 20 years.

Last month my coworker invited me to ride along, and I had a great time. At first I was nervous about it, as a friend of a friend was injured riding in CM years ago. Also, as a bystander, just watching the Mass go by is nerve wracking! And Critical Mass riders have a bit of a  reputation for being “Massholes.” All of these fears vanished once the ride began (er except for the Masshole part… keep reading…)

I decided that I had so much fun last time that I should go back again this month, this time with Ryan. By mid day of the ride my friend Tristan decided to join, and by 5pm, Astor was coming!

Everybody met up by the Ferry building and lounged around to techno music while the the Nestle Quik Rabbit did a little dance. Tourists were excited.

Time passed, more people showed up. Oh, I should mention that there were a number of naked riders (“Critical Ass”). I’ve tried not to include any photos of them, so photos are limited… hehehe

Soon it was time to go. Astor got set up in her milk crate and net…

And we were off! We went all over the place- downtown, SOMA, the Mission (the above picture is near my house), Chinatown, Civic Center… It was a hot mess. There were bikes that blew bubbles, bikes that played music, and bikes with dogs in them. Police on motorcycles escorted us. We biked through tunnels screaming and laughing. Some people drank. I kept getting dangerously close to naked riders. It was surreal. Through it all, Astor just chilled out. Amazing.

Around 30 minutes into the ride the Critical Mass people decided to be assholes and block traffic at Mission and Van Ness. Yikes.

Then we took off again.

Around Civic Center the Mass took another break. Astor was getting ansty, so we decided to stop off and do dinner instead.

Fun times, and I’m so proud of Astor for being an instant bicycle dog!

Life

Yeasayer at the Fillmore

The last show I’ll see for a while… The fun thing about Yeasayer is that I didn’t think that I knew their music very well, and yet during every song I found myself recognizing the beat. I had that “Aha!” moment again and again.

The stage was decorating in various succulents, and it felt like “the techno desert.”

All in all it was a nice time. Nothing got too crazy (no costumes, props, skits, freakouts, breakdowns)- just nice kids wanting to dance to catchy music.